I hope you, Mrs. Claus, the elves, and reindeer are well. I have been a good boy this year…. For Christmas, may I please have:
1. An oil can
(What?!? I swear that’s what Asa said. I was expecting “fire truck with a trailer and rescue boat.” That’s been number one on the list since October. Oil can? And are we talking Wizard of Oz Tin Man oil can here? Or Valvoline? Asa’s never seen the Wizard of Oz. He wouldn’t elaborate. In either case, can I travel through airport security with an oil can? Because we’re just carry on for this trip to the islands. (Take that non-Southwest airline!)
2. A special bag.
(??? That request makes the boy sound like some Dickensian waif that Eliot and I keep locked in a cabinet under the stairs. “May I please have a bag, sir?” After considering this one overnight, Asa asked to change number 2 to “brush collection truck.” Just shoot me. Or send me a lead on a toy store that sells brush collection trucks.)
3. A plow vacuum arm
(Asa wouldn’t elaborate on this one either. Each time we tried to clarify, he looked more and more like a teenager dealing with dense parents. “Come on! You know, a Plow Vaacuuuum ARM.” Certainly plow vacuum arms are attached to tractors, yes?)
(Question: If we put a puppy under the tree will Asa remember this letter to Santa — which is on the way to the North Pole as we visit.)