Look at my butt!!!

Asa had his last soccer practice for the season tonight.  And as we sat and watched the three remaining three year-olds chase their soccer balls around, the YMCA’s Boot Camp class took the field next to us.  (“If pushing yourself to the limit, improving your physical performance and significantly improving the way you look and feel is what you’re looking for, then it’s time for you to enlist in Bootcamp!   Men and women who want a tough workout with lots of instructor and ‘unit’ motivation will thrive in this class.”)
There must have been thirty of them — and  one muscled “drill instructor” dressed in long, bright yellow basketball shorts.  I started taking notes on my iPhone after he hollered, “I dun tol’ y’all what the business was!!  We ain’t here to shake our booties!!”  They did some calisthenics in a large circle after which he asked “Are y’all warmed up yet?!”  It was 90+ degrees.  I imagine most everyone was warmed up just fine.  The three year-olds were entirely distracted.  I was distracted.  One exceptionally well-endowed woman worried me as she ran backwards and forwards in a strange shuttle run drill.  I will not elaborate.

During each evolution the drill instructor found someone to holler at: “Are you going to let a girl beat you?!?”  I was close to walking across the field and challenging him to a mile by the end of practice — lame foot and all.  But I didn’t want to interrupt the spectacle.  “Look at my butt!!!”  “You want to look good for the puuuhl this summer or what?!?”  My favorite part was when he yelled, “You got knee problems?  I got NO problems with that!  I’ll pray for you knees!!”

Sure, one could live in some hip mountain town.  But, where’s the challenge and inspiration in that?

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10 Responses to Look at my butt!!!

  1. Trimble says:

    awesome… just plain awesome. I would pay money to see you challenge a “drill sergeant”

  2. Shannon says:

    Well if it makes you feel better I live in a mt town (I am unsure of its hipness rating), and weird things like that still happen. I like to scope out those situations, and come back to watch, while sitting in my Texas lawn chair (it was a going away present). Sometimes I yell because I do not have to set any kind of example for a 3 year old, so next time I will make more snarky comments on you behalf! and its been a long time since I have seen 90 F weather, its still 40 and snowing over here. Hope to see you in November! My guess is that I make it over for that it will still be 90.

  3. Sarah says:

    And you wonder why some people don’t like “exercise”. It amazes me that people pay to be treated like that. This is what Biggest Loser has done to our society. It is fun to watch though.

    • lizahoward says:

      I’m going to ask Brian and Chris to yell at me the entire time they’re pacing me at Western States. “Suck it up!!” “My grandmother can run faster than you!” “You’re such a loser!” You know, inspiring things like that. It would be pretty fun to see people’s reactions.

  4. frank says:

    …“Are you going to let a girl beat you?!?”…

    Laugh Out Loud! Love it!!!

  5. Anna Williams says:

    Atlanta boot camp is nicer – at least the one my friend got me to join last summer. The instructor is an idealistic former UGA male cheerleader. The workouts were interrupted by ladies crying: “Adam! The asphalt is hurting my hands when I do push-ups!” To which he would respond in a lovely old fashioned southern drawl, “Oh! I’m sorry! Here, take my shirt and put it under your hands.” Totally my kind of boot camp. I ended up going more for the Adam nurturing than the “work outs.” However, any amount of push ups is challenging for me.

    • lizahoward says:

      A tour of boot camps across the country sounds like it would make for some good stories. I wonder if ever Adam got counseled to be more abrasive and demeaning from his boot camp employers.

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